By Jordan Sapir
As my eyes crossed the words of the article, my mind instantly made the connection. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t articulate it quite in the way this author had. Well, not until now. There it was, in front of me. The answer to the question that had haunted me for the duration of our quarantine here in Germany. Why was I adjusting to the new normal so well? Why did this pandemic not rattle my world like my millennial counterparts and others around me? I didn’t have to look far for the answer.
Just a few days ago, the US commemorated the 19th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on 9/11. The same procedure as every year. I desperately tried to forget the still vivid images, in my head, of downtown Manhattan that day. I had overslept for my 9:00am class at the downtown campus. I awakened to an endless stream of telephone calls and a full answering machine. You know, the kind that still had tape and was bound to fill with the onset of news. That was the first tragedy on a grand scale for this Gen X’er. It took a great deal of time to fathom, but the city was in full swing the following day.
We were actively mourning, while refusing to discuss the elephant in the room, which was the “new” skyline.
After submerging myself in an NGO whose mission was to revitalize Downtown Manhattan, I went into my final years of study full-throttle. That is, until the economic crisis loomed over Madison Square Garden, casting a shadow across my baccalaureate stage.
It wasn’t until I was desperately seeking employment that I realized I was in the throes of yet another crisis. Fast forward to 2020. I stand in the face of a global pandemic, whilst raising two children under 7. The revelation? I have been on amber alert for the last twenty years of my life. It now seems I’m not terribly shocked that my way of dealing with a crisis of this proportion is by “sucking it up” and delving into some contingency cause.
Masks? Sure, I’ll throw one on. Oh, we can only leave the house for essentials, travel bans, and food supply shortages— No sweat. I’ll just drift into auto-pilot and forget I’m in the throes of a worldwide pandemic. Hold on a second. This can’t be healthy.
Living in constant flight-or-fight mode is bound to be damaging. Or is it? Who suffers more? The malleable of the masses, or the immovable? The real question is, how do I manage the stress of a crisis without becoming impact-resistant? It’s taken me years to discover.
Since becoming a mother, it has become overwhelmingly important. I want to model behavior for my children that represents my values. Becoming an advocate has helped me acknowledge the importance of transparency. In times of crisis, before becoming a mother, it was all, suck it up, sweetheart, and various other negative feedback cursors, which allowed me to mask my feelings with strength. I’m too strong to be sad, I’d declare defiantly, lurking in the shadows of fear and anxiety. Now the time has come. My vernacular reads like a book of feelings. Rightfully so. I want to show my children that it’s okay to worry, fear, feel. The important thing is not how well you say you deal with stress, it’s how you grapple with and process the emotions. Stress management has been normalized in my realm these days. Gone are the days of denial and disregard.
Crisis intervention can no longer be my strong suit. I will not normalize the new normal.
I have to stop, recognize the stressor/s, then ask my nearest loved one for support. I don't have to be tough. I just have to manage. Managing during tough times is tough, and so am I.
Jordan Sapir
Jordan Sapir, mother of two glitter-laden girls, 3 and 6, studied Journalism and International Political Science in NYC, a place she once called home. She can slaughter five languages fluently. She has worked in a newsroom or two, walked a catwalk or three, and is all for an impromptu adventure. Having traded in her Prada for pretzels, the founder of Über Moms lives in Munich, where she is a stay at home mom and studying to become a certified nutritionist. She is a mommy on a mission and wants to help fellow mothers raise healthy happy families, and beat a PR here and there.