By Jo Fiddy
Stress appears in many shades, and can last for a second, or linger for hours, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope. As 2020 continues to rage on, we are juggling all the balls; the kids start or return to Kita and kindergarten, and the news is blasting our sensors with a continuous stream of negative headlines. It is no surprise we are stressed out.
Here are my favourite stress management tools to help with feelings of stress.
Energy Drainers
Who are the energy drainers in your life? Who soaks up your time more than they should? Do you find yourself saying yes, when actually you would rather say no? Did you really want to sign yourself up for that school project, when your time is already over the limit?
People-pleasing can be dated back to our ancestors, and was a survival technique to ensure we were not ostracized by our tribe and eaten by a grizzly bear. Being an expat, you may find yourself unconsciously falling into people-pleasing mode to fit in.
Take a look around you and identify the energy drainers at work, at home, and in your social life. Create healthy boundaries around people who sap your energy, leading you to feel more stressed out. Visualize what your life would look like if you started saying no. How would you feel and act, if you politely and firmly said no? What new possibilities would be open to you by saying no? What would you do differently with this mindset? What could you achieve?
As the author Chloe Brotheridge says, “If you are saying no, what am I saying yes to?”
Panic Scrolling
Our mobile phones have become our constant companion. We are inundated with information, videos, and images within a second of swiping. 2020 has been a challenging year, and while we are desperate for information, we are flooding our nervous system and brains with constant information that they were not designed for.
It is very easy to slip into a habit of panic scrolling and searching for headlines that will feed your fear. Without thinking, we reach for our phones at the coffee shop, while the children play in the playground, and admit it... on the loo.
Beam yourself back into the present and the world around you. Take a moment to look around at your surroundings. Look up and notice the people in the coffee shop, watch your children laughing and playing, and notice the colour of the tiles in the loo. This visualisation meditation technique will help your thoughts become more present, and not speeding into the future and catastrophising events before they happen.
Change your social media feed and follow accounts that bring you joy, such as @goodnews_movement that runs good news only every day. Read a book at night rather than panic scroll. Or there are plenty of wonderful meditation apps, such as Headspace, that offer meditations that help with stress, overwhelmedness, and sleep.
Toxic In-Laws
Having a toxic In-law can create havoc in your life, with your partner, and on special occasions. Holidays are stressful enough without a toxic in-law in the mix. Traits of a toxic in-law may include being dismissive of your opinion, notorious for being controlling, critical, and overbearing. It can be an unpleasant and stressful situation. It can be especially stressful and hurtful when you are here without the nourishment and strength of your own family.
What can you do when you have a toxic in-law in your life? Begin by enforcing your boundaries, and then verbalise what they are. Can they turn up unannounced? Critical of how you raise your children? Disrespect and dismiss your opinion at family gatherings? Decide where you draw the line, enlist the support of your partner, and do not back down. Be kind to yourself, and remind yourself that your voice and opinions do count.
EFT
Emotional Freedom Techniques is completely natural, and big fans include Tony Robbins and Maria Forleo. A simple yet powerful tapping sequence backed up by numerous studies, EFT sends calming signals to the amygdala. When we are stressed out our amygdala is firing loudly, like a car alarm. Pausing and taking a few minutes to tap can reduce our stress levels and promote calmness.
Running
Über Moms has a thriving running club, and with good reason. Studies show that one of the biggest benefits of running is its mood-boosting effects. When you run, your brain pumps out two powerful feel-good chemicals: endorphins and endocannabinoids.
Whether you run with your favourite banging beats or latest podcast show, running has big benefits to our mental and physical health. The Über Mom team meets every week, come rain or shine, and is open to beginners as well as athletes.
Jo Fiddy
Jo Fiddy is mum to her toddling one-year-old daughter and lives in Munich with her partner, Simon. A Life Coach and Integrated Energy Practitioner, Jo is dedicated to supporting women and helping them to thrive in life.
Being in Munich was not part of the plan, but ripping up her roadmap was the best thing she could have ever done. A chance meeting in the Andaman Islands led to a romance that brought her to Munich from London.
Jo thoroughly enjoys exploring the beautiful Bavarian wilderness. A hippy at heart, Jo loves dancing, camping under the stars, meeting new faces and slurping coffee with mum friends.
www.jofiddy.com