By Jordan Sapir
“Spare me a week of faux soul searching,” I’d say in my cynical, New-York-circa-early-2000s fashion, whenever my middle-aged Bikram teacher requested a moment of silence for gratitude. I mean, my twenty-something, cough, thirty-something self always considered practicing gratitude cliche. Something my friends who visited Ashrams did. It took a while, involving legit, hostel-living, south-of-the-equator soul-searching.
I’ve always felt truly blessed. Never ungrateful. Yet, nothing ever came of my appreciation for pleasantries and grace. I was simply too befuddled by the generosity of others to realize that a kind response to the acts of kindness that were bestowed upon me was, well, mandatory.
For me, acts of grace had always been simple gestures—please and thank yous, words before meals.
Until I realized (shocker—my twenty-year-old self got something wrong) that gratitude has nothing to do with manners. It has less to do with new-age philosophy, and more to do with self-love and perseverance. It’s an appreciation, defined as the quality of being thankful; a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
It took an incredibly traumatizing event for me to realize that gratitude wasn’t the granola, tree-hugging notion I once suspected of robbing me of all logic. Learning to focus on what I have, rather than what I lack, enabled me to think constructively. This has proven to me that showing gratitude is essential to my own empowerment.
It’s an uphill battle. Initially, that confused me. I always thought that expressing gratitude meant consistently smiling like a Radio City Rockette—thinking only positively. Don’t worry, I won’t dive into the smash-the-patriarchy rabbit hole of female positivity. I will, however, say that it’s easy to confuse a constant state of happiness with a constant state of contemplation.
I now know that reminding myself to see the good helps me see the light. If I practice gratitude, there is always an opportunity to improve my mindset.
This notion is especially important in a time like today. I have honed my skills and am able to reduce my tension during potentially high-stress situations. The importance of recognizing and valuing the present is therapeutic and astonishingly necessary.
I started a ritual after treatment for trauma. Every morning I wake up and set one foot onto the ground and say “thank;” the other foot goes down to a ‘“you”. I quite literally start each day off on a good foot. This particular ritual has become habitual. It’s a constant reminder to focus my consciousness on the haves and not the have-nots.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the cycle of complaints and complacency. Never did I ever imagine I’d be lobbying others to practice gratitude. I am just so grateful for the changes I have seen in my life. I am now the middle-aged woman asking you to take a moment to express gratitude.
We need this now more than ever. Every day that I wake up and place my feet on the ground, I know anything that comes after is a bonus.
This month at Über Moms, we’re discussing gratitude. It’s not what you think it is. It’s more.
Join us in discovering everything we have to be grateful for during this, our holiday season in the midst of a crisis.
The prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be on your own front door.
Happy Holidays Über Moms
Jordan Sapir
Jordan Sapir, mother of two glitter-laden girls, 4 and 6, studied Journalism and International Political Science in NYC, a place she once called home. She can slaughter five languages fluently. She has worked in a newsroom or two, walked a catwalk or three, and is all for an impromptu adventure. Having traded in her Prada for pretzels, the founder of Über Moms lives in Munich, where she is a stay at home mom and studying to become a certified nutritionist. She is a mommy on a mission and wants to help fellow mothers raise healthy happy families, and beat a PR here and there.