By Laura Kohler
When our children are young, none of their gifts to us are purchased. For birthdays and Mother’s Day, my husband sits with our children at the dining room table, gently directing our daughters in one project or another, beautiful creations that now adorn the walls of my office. Spontaneous presents are collected from the garden (rocks, nuts, and leaves are current favorites), or carefully painted in a riot of colors. They are truly impromptu displays of affection, not agonized over or saved up for, and we love them more for what they represent than for what they are.
Now grown, we no longer paint or pick flowers as gifts. We ask for wishlists, placing the burden of what to purchase on the addressee. We buy online, at the last minute, sometimes from artisans but often from soulless corporations. Rather than, “I saw this and thought of you,” we concentrate our attention on the end of the year, caught up in the consumerism of the season, even if our own major holidays are spaced more evenly around it.
Let this year be different. 2020 has proven itself to be a rather challenging year, but why not let it end on a personally positive note? Don’t empty your already strained bank account to purchase trinkets that will be abandoned in a few weeks anyway. Most years, the run-up to the holiday season means we don’t have time to do anything but last-minute shopping, but this year, it seems like time is all we have.
This year, instead of shopping, consider making Christmas gifts, or better yet, give the gift of yourself, of your time and your undivided attention. Give someone a memory. For many, positive memories, this year, are hard to come by.
If you’re a crafter, sew quilts or throw blankets, crochet a shawl or knit some socks, or paint a picture. Make soap, dip candles, turn wood, work metal. Bead jewelry. Use words, if that’s your thing. Write a short story about a friend where they go on a magnificent adventure. Sing a song, record a video of yourself being hilarious. Everyone has a talent, and your friends will love seeing you exercise yours.
If you’ve learned a new skill during quarantine, show it off. Learned to make sourdough? Start gifting loaves. Taken up a more extensive hobby? Homemade Hannukah or Kwanzaa candles are a delight. Get creative! Homemade Christmas crackers brighten up any table and ensure the gifts inside aren’t just useless tat.
Gift experiences. They don’t have to be cooking classes with starred cooks or skydiving lessons. They can be an hour of your time, teaching something you’re good at. I’d love it if someone came round and taught me how to make the perfect Hollandaise, or how to paint a landscape, or adjust a pattern to fit my body. Plus, one-on-one sessions don’t violate lockdown rules!
Consider gifting your expertise. Plan a meditation or a workout. If you own your own business, offer your friends a free consultation. Help them with their website or social media.
If you’re giving your time, consider giving that, and no more. An hour or two of babysitting will ensure your friend can do something by herself. This is so, so valuable for moms. We don’t get a lot of time to ourselves, so if you want to come over and babysit my kids while I nap, this is a priceless gift. Take them out of the house for a walk or to the playground. Teach them a new skill!
Gift consumables. Cook a meal, and drop it off on a friend’s doorstep. Bake cupcakes, or Christmas cookies. Make fudge! Can’t bake? Make a few shelf-stable mixes!
If you must purchase gifts, shop at a local grocery store to make your own gift baskets, tailored to friends’ tastes. A DVD and a pack of hot cocoa make for a lovely evening at home. Bubble baths, soaps, lotions, candles, marmalade, or a bouquet of flowers or bottle of wine, are all lovely gifts that don’t clutter. Buy local, buy artisan.
If nothing else, 2020 has given many of us the gift of time. Let’s pass that gift on wherever we can.
Laura Kohler
Laura Kohler is the resident Über Moms editor, comma wrangler, and secretary. She has two little girls and recently founded her own copy editing business.