We Rocked This Year: A Note from the Editor
By Jordan Sapir
As 2019 slowly comes to an end, countdowns are taking place worldwide. There are seventeen days until the new year, ten days until Christmas, four days of holidays remaining. Getting caught up in the frenzy is easy to do. What if, instead of focusing on how much time we have left, we focus on the past 365 days, on our accomplishments, and on the 365 days before us.
I’ve had the great opportunity to come to my hometown for the holidays. With the nostalgia of taking my children to my favorite holiday activities and hot spots, I have found myself in a whirlwind of emotions. Have I done everything I could this past year to be the best mom, partner, friend I could be? Have I resolved the challenges that the year has brought; have I accomplished everything I set out to do in this past year?
It wasn’t until we spoke about this month’s topic in our Über Moms meeting that I was able to reflect on my past year. I questioned if I did actually “rock” this year. Have I been an Über Mom? Have I lived up to my own, sometimes unrealistic, expectations? Have I fulfilled my tally of to-do’s and to-don’ts of 2019?
We promised an organization that was governmentally recognized, sustainable and organized. I promised my kids that all the hours I dedicated to triathlon training and founding a non-profit would be worth the time I was borrowing from family life. I spent nearly four years tirelessly attempting to cultivate an organization through a grassroots movement, building relationships, living up to promises, often times questioning my role, my incentives and my will.
As mothers, we can be our own worst critics. I have been so critical of myself. I have often let others’ opinions of me form my own self worth and dictate my actions. I have let toxic relationships and criticism haunt my daily actions and cloud my notion of reality. In my head, I have quit a thousand times. I have let the demon of self-doubt bring me to some of the lowest points I have ever had in my life. The stress, the anxiety, the relentlessly unforgiving doubt that comes with motherhood have often chewed me up and spit me out. I sometimes can’t process the incredible progress I have made. We try so hard to be good role models that we give ourselves no credit as mothers. We don’t want to gloat or brag about our accomplishments. We don’t want to tell others that we think we’re doing an outstanding job, despite our struggles. We often downplay our role as caretakers, organizers, and leaders, in order to satisfy others’ insecurities.
Contrarily, I have had a glimpse and can clearly see my own accomplishments through the looking glass. I have managed to protect my children from the effects of my inner struggle, shown them that I have fallen down and gotten back up again. I have persisted and overcome my inner struggles and angst.
I asked myself the question several times over the past month, “Have I ‘rocked’ this year?” The answer came to me while I was at the theater with my oldest daughter. I took her to her first Off Broadway production: a vintage circus. There was the classic strong man, a tightrope walker, trapezes, and a cruelty free lion tamer – you know, the classics modified for our new era.
A woman with a thick New Jersey accent and her eight-year-old son sparked up a conversation with my daughter. She told my girl that these performers were really strong: “They must work really hard.” Her response, “Not as hard as my Mommy; she works out everyday, I bet she could do this with the Über Moms.”
Behind the tears welling in my eyes the answer was clear. It’s not when we fall victim to our inner criticism that they are watching, it’s when we don’t.
They watch us fall, get back up and start again. They watch us work hard, fail, and start again. They don’t remember the failures; they remember the perseverance, strength and tenacity. My daughters will not remember that I doubted my role as a mother, a business woman, or a triathlete. They will not remember what I saw as failure. They will remember all the times I didn’t fail.
This year, instead of downplaying your achievements, stand proud and tall and say with all your might, “I rocked this year, because I’m imperfect.” Believe me, next year will be just as hard and you’ll do it again.
They are watching every step and every stumble, but they’ll be waiting there at the finish line with open arms, no matter how long it takes you to get there.
Über Moms, keep rocking on!
Jordan Sapir, mother of two glitter-laden girls, 2 and 5, studied Journalism and International Political Science in NYC, a place she once called home. She can slaughter five languages fluently. She has worked in a newsroom or two, walked a catwalk or three, and is all for an impromptu adventure. Having traded in her Prada for pretzels, the founder of Über Moms lives in Munich, where she is a stay at home mom and studying to become a certified nutritionist. She is a mommy on a mission and wants to help fellow mothers raise healthy happy families, and beat a PR here and there.