A Monthly Wellness Column
By Amie Mignatti
As women in today’s world, we have many choices. We can choose to have a family, or not to, we can choose where we live, how we live and with whom we live. We’ve got a whole lot of options and the world, more or less, at our fingertips.
Most of us have chosen to have children and families, but as individuals we’ve also chosen many different paths: some of us are stay at home moms, some of us are self-employed, some of us work full time, others part-time. But the bottom line is, we all work.
Each variation of who we are, what we do, and what we’ve chosen to invest our time and energy in, are uniquely ours. Sometimes we have to defend our choices to those that are judgmental and critical, and rationalize to ourselves that this is what we really want, when deep down we may feel something much different.
One of the most beautiful, and at the same time, scary, things that we’re faced with today as “Modern Day Women,” is this power of choice. Our grandmothers’ generation didn’t have this and they fought, as our mother’s did, for us to be in this position today. Yet, somehow, with all these choices, it’s sometimes difficult to know if we are really “doing the right thing.” We’ve got financial pressure, family pressure, societal pressure, and the pressure that we put on ourselves to somehow manage to take care of a family, nurture a relationship, fulfill our dreams, be creative, healthy, fit and use the brains that we were given.
Our jobs are far from easy, and our choices are far from few. I’ve learned a lot from my own experience as a self-employed mother. My daughter is five, and in these past five years, I’ve made a great number of changes and compromises in my work life in order to accommodate her, and the vision I have of what I want for her, how I want her to be raised, and who I want to be as a mother. I’ve started big projects only to realize that they were all-consuming and not the direction I wanted to go; I’ve had to give up on some bigger dreams because the mother I want to be is more important to me than my own needs. This one was huge for me. I’d been in a selfish place for a very long time, and to have to surrender to someone else, regardless of who it was, was not easy. However, motherhood brought out a side of me that I had not yet met, and so when I did meet myself in a very different place, then I saw that it was time to change, and I did it willingly. But it wasn’t easy.
One of the things that we need to really look at within ourselves, our choices and our lives, is much more than are we “happy,” it’s whether we are fulfilled? If not, what do we need in order to be fulfilled? Do we need to change something about our lives? Do we need to let go of something in order to create space for something else?
Change is scary. Change is stepping out into the unknown, into a place that is not secure and that is built on our own trust. However, change brings new momentum, motion and energy. Change brings unforeseen opportunities, new possibilities and new relationships. We need to take the first steps to create whatever it is that we want to change, make, or do in our lives.
Amie Mignatti is a free spirited woman with her feet on the earth and her heart in the stars. After traveling the world for many years, she landed in Munich where she wears many different hats: yoga teacher, nature coach, outdoor educator for children, English teacher. She also runs personal development courses for women in nature. She and her family are happiest outdoors with friends and campfires.
Check out her blog here.