A Note from the Editor
By Jordan Sapir
This month at Über Moms we’re celebrating you! Yes, you! Don’t act surprised! You deserve to be celebrated, too, Über Mom. Every day you achieve the unimaginable. I know that often it doesn’t seem that way. Yes, often we’re lead to believe that motherhood is full of accomplishments, fulfillment and achievement, but the reality is that the daily tasks that come with the job are not very fulfilling for all of us.
When I think of the things I can do to fall in love with myself as a mother, the first thing that comes to mind is redefining achievement and fulfillment.
I was listening to an episode of The Tim Ferriss Show with Tony Robbins. Despite the opinions you may have of either one of these gentlemen, they made some very eye-opening points in a dialogue on achievement versus fulfillment. The feminist in me came to the conclusion that, yet again, we have to fit into a box as mothers, as women, as caretakers, in a male dominated society. Who’s to say that motherhood has to be fulfilling? Who’s to say that doing daily chores, working whilst managing a household, and playing taxi and referee have to be fulfilling. I, without a doubt, feel a great sense of achievement when my children grow, learn and achieve their own personal goals and exceed my expectations. However, I am not fulfilled nor entertained by the constant emotional overload of raising children, the physical constraints and, for some, the damage to my personal being after giving birth. I was not amused by my bout of PTSD or PPS. Why does society expect us to find fulfillment in the mundane? It plays into the ever present positivity movement. Women are expected to stay positive and happy, smile and laugh, no matter how dire a situation.
I feel that by redefining my definition of fulfillment and achievement, I have found the holy grail of loving myself. Was changing diapers or being summoned to wipe a dirty bum fulfilling? The answer is no. I have, however, found that I feel a great sense of achievement in potty training my children successfully – as do they. That makes me feel fulfilled.
This new found freedom has allowed me to find happiness in the mundane.
I have recently started saying that I don’t want motherhood to be my legacy. I don’t want my gravestone to read, “She was a mother of two.” I prefer for my tomb to read, “She was the mother of two who achieved greatness.” Because in addition to being a mother, I am an educated, driven and highly fulfilled woman, who has achieved more in life than folding laundry, running errands, wiping butts and running a household.
The feminist in me also says that only I can decide what defines me. If you, as a mother, are fulfilled with the little beautiful incritacies of motherhood and managing a household, then that’s your choice, and it’s the right one for you.
That’s what makes communities like Über Moms so great. I am lucky to be able to surround myself with high achieving women who remind me on a daily basis to F.L.Y. (First Love Myself).
This month, we have a powerful piece by an anonymous source on her battle with alcoholism and how seeking treatment is an integral part of loving herself.
Resident life coach and psychotherapist Mallika Bhatia helps us love ourselves a bit more by learning to release negative thoughts.
Monika Bock, expert nutritionist, shows us how loving yourself means eating what’s right – eating what’s right for you, that is.
Carolyn Hecken continues her excellent series on books to read to your children, and explains how reading to them is a wonderful way to express your love.
Yoga teacher and nature coach Amie Mignatti shares how returning to nature helped her find herself and love who she was.
And finally, life coach Julie Leonard reminds us that self-care is self-love – so remember to take some time for yourself this month!
Jordan Sapir, mother of two glitter-laden girls, 1 and 3, studied Journalism and International Political Science in NYC, a place she once called home. She can slaughter five languages fluently. She has worked in a newsroom or two, walked a catwalk or three, and is all for an impromptu adventure. Having traded in her Prada for pretzels, the founder of Über Moms lives in Munich, where she is a stay at home mom and studying to become a certified nutritionist. She is a mommy on a mission and wants to help fellow mothers raise healthy happy families, and beat a PR here and there.