By Lisa Davidson
Spring is (more or less) in full swing, and with the feeling of a new beginning comes the need to clean out. Sorting through old belongings, detoxing the body for a healthier year, decluttering digital tools and media – there is a lot to get done. However, the most important part of our lives that needs proper cleaning often gets forgotten: family, friends and acquaintances who are toxic – to themselves and to us.
They might be manipulative, judgmental, inconsistent, unsupportive, selfish or controlling. They don’t wish for the best for us, but simply want us to be part of their self-produced never-ending drama.
But if toxic people are so bad for us, why is it so hard to let go of them? To move on without them? Probably because we are so used to trying to fix them, their problems, and our relationship with them.
Jodie Gale, MA, a psychotherapist and life coach in Sydney, Australia, points out that toxic people are in many causes needy, narcissistic and unfulfilled. “Often the person is deeply wounded and for whatever reason, they are not yet able to take responsibility for their wounding, their feelings, their needs and their subsequent problems in life,” Gale says.
Feeling bad about the other person causes the separation to keep getting pushed back. But it shouldn’t.
It doesn’t matter if you detoxify your body: you can’t detoxify your soul without letting go of people that don’t do you any good. You won’t achieve an organized life with other people’s drama. This kind of cleanse might be the hardest and most painful to attempt. But it is impossible to feel better without getting it done.
We have to get rid of toxic people in our lives, whether they are in our closest circle or just distant acquaintances. It will be painful. And it most likely will take a while to get over it. But eventually, you made space for yourself and new, healthy relationships. Close the door and say goodbye to be able to welcome something better.
Lisa Davidson, mother of two energetic and drama-prone little divas, aged 2 and 4, studied Journalism in Munich and spent most of her time before having children writing for various publishers and travelling the world. After multiple moves inside and outside Germany, her latest pit-stop brought her to Texas, far from home but not from her heart. Now the days contain less scribbling in journals, but instead accomplishing tricky toddler crafts from Pinterest, less strolling in high heels through European metropolises, but instead trying to connect her daughters to her own culture. She is a busy mommy who knows how hard it can be to be far away from old friends and family, and she wants to help fellow moms to stay always true to themselves – no matter how stressful life can be or where their journey might take them.